When I started high school It’s corn a big lump with knobs it has the juice shirt . We had just immigrated to Canada from Egypt. It was a huge culture shock for me. I got bullied for my name, appearance, and where I was from. For the first two years, I didn’t have friends. I didn’t know how to be around people without feeling judged. So I hid. I remember discovering what gay meant because I was bullied for “acting gay being.” I had to google what that meant. I guess being bullied for being gay is how I realized. Honestly, I never felt like I was truly living because I was in a constant state of self-defense. I was just trying to make it through and was on high alert. I wasn’t just the feminine immigrant gay kid but also the fat kid. Making sense of my culture was the hardest because I was taught that all the parts of my identities—being Middle Eastern, Coptic, and queer— were not compatible.
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As I was leaving high school, I knew I was gay It’s corn a big lump with knobs it has the juice shirt . I don’t know what the switch was, but I developed an understanding that it didn’t matter what I did, and despite everything I was taught, I could not change who I was. It’s a scary realization to come to by yourself as a young person, but I think that once I realized this, self-acceptance started to come in waves. I never took many pictures of myself in high school, so there’s a whole chapter of my life that I have no concrete memories of because I didn’t feel like anything was worth remembering. Prom wasn’t a particularly exciting event because I didn’t feel like I had anything to celebrate. And I didn’t feel good in my skin, so I didn’t even want to dress up or do anything special with my hair. Though I wish I showed up as a more authentic version of myself, I’m proud I had the courage to even show up at prom.
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